Infinity

The beginning is the end is the beginning is the end.

Finding Rosaline

Everyone who's heard this story has wished but one thing, that I move past the witching hour which has taken too long to pass. True, the moon sheds light in the dark, but the sun shares light and gives life to all.

Wake me from this lunar life.

Chasing dreams

I’ve been having recurring dreams where I’ve been chasing a dream. Even in my dreams, I come out empty handed. I’m tired of it, but I can’t stop wanting it. I’m addicted to the pain.

Aftermath

I had to do what I had to do. I had to do it now, 'cause I'm tired of dreaming and I want to break this helpless cycle. I want to get shut down.

Besides, there is no perfect story. It is just what it is: a made up story. There is no perfect story. Everything is full of bumps, scratches, and demons. There is no perfect story. I've got to stop dreaming, make it real, and keep it real.

I had to do what I had to do. I want to get shut down.

Picture Perfect

I guess part of the reason why you don’t want to do anything is because you don’t want to spoil the perfect image, situation or story. You don’t want to break the perfect lie. You don’t want to do anything because you have those what-ifs to cling on to. Sometimes the what-ifs are what you look for, it's with them where you are most free. Your ego boundaries are set. You are the master of your world. And though you may bitch and complain about everything, about how life is so unfair, and how the Gods have conspired against you, at least you can cling on to the fact that you didn’t fail and that it all probably would have worked out if you only did this or that. So you end up not doing anything.

Another dream

I dreamt about you again. There was a handa at my Lola's house. Somehow, in the middle of the ruckus of preparation, I had a inkling that you were there. True enough, I saw you there, though only for a fleeting moment. I went around looking for you, trying not to seem like I was, kicking myself for not finding you. I remember you had shorter hair.

I found you at the back of the house. You were studying. I moved in closer, thinking that I could talk to you. But as I grew closer, I realized someone was with you, and so I pretended to be just passing by again.

I went around and around, feigning indifference, putting on a face, hiding what I really felt for you.

How far from the truth was that?

Down, down, down

These concrete walls are caving in again
The tower is shaking once again
Round and round
My world spins ‘round
This damnation will crumble
And crash to the ground

Forty too many

I dreamt of you last night. I tried to remember what my dream was, but I couldn’t. I tried to stay asleep but I had to wake up eventually. I told myself that I want to remember everything we did and hold on to the undeniable chemistry between us. I kept on telling myself not to forget when I woke up.

As reality slowly stirred, I began to forget the dream. A few hours past and I forgot the details all together. I forgot how happy we were and the things we did. You'’re nothing but a distant memory now. You'’re but a faint thought that I can’t seem to grasp. Not even a hazy image remains, just an unmistakable feeling of something that must have happened sometime, somewhere.

I had dreams about you last night. It was one of the happiest times of my life. I’m afraid it won’t happen anymore. Now I’m about to fall asleep again. And I’m hoping that I can see you there, ‘cause I can’t see you when I’m awake. I'’m hoping that when I fall asleep, when I dream, I can be with you. At least a part of me is with you, spends time with you, and is loved by you. I can'’t wait to be with you, even if I forget. I'’ll have the idea of a memory where something magical must have happened, somewhere, sometime, somehow.

I am a fool chasing dreams. I'’ll be happy to chase all these dreams, and keep on hoping that one day they will become real.

I want to say that I love and that I miss you, but I'’m saying that to the girl in my dreams and not to you.

Triple threat

Since everyone seems to be giving codes in place for people lately, I will give mine too: the dream, the girlfriend, and the best friend.