Gems

Always almost there
Hope slowly suffocates
Without shape or form, a muse not of this plain
A blur, the corner of my eye
A ghost in my mind
Still better than the truth of not being

People keep praying to their gods
Sitting beyond reach
Helpless and content but uncontent
Not looking for the holy
Just the awe in being
Of this lost soul

There

Tonight I spoke of you in the dark
In the midst of roads & lights
Everything unsaid was said
Expelled from the heart
To an empty seat
And a lowly drive

Landslide

Wisdom in silence
Finding answers in the dark
Beautiful breakdown

Always

I can't get myself to stop thinking
Can't get myself to stay away 
From dreaming to morning 
To the last thought of the day


Your voice is imprinted in memory 
Your smile augments my sight
Your footsteps round every corner 
You're my last prayer at night


Spent all those years in darkness
But now you shine like the sun 
Where there used to be so many
Now there is only one


How could such a darling 
Turn into my most ardent wish
Let me keep you here forever 
And hold you in eternal bliss


Hoping for a new forever
A whole new world to see
And all I'm asking for
Is for you to choose me

Under the lazy moon

Searching & seeking, trying to find the one
An endless carousel of one-time loves
A face without a heart, a heart without a soul
Perfect on paper, but no magic to behold

And through the different people
There was a constant point of view
Why couldn't they all have been a little more like you
And then I realized and that's where it begun
It could be, it had happened, you just might be the one

But there is a complication, a little twist of fate
You've already made a promise
That you don't intend to break
Again my heart has fallen in too late
But I can't make this another one of those mistakes

I can't let you make a wrong decision
If we're supposed to be together, that'll be my mission
Cause love isn't something that's easy to find
You've captivated my heart and taken over my mind

Let me go down in flames if I need to
I know my back's against the wall
But I know that I'm the one who'll complete you
My heart is sure I have no doubts at all

Perhaps one day I'll look back amused
On fate's complicated ruse
Hopefully you'd be beside me then
Wife, lover, best friend

For now I write you letters in the dark
I plan out the ways to win your heart
I miss you in the moments you ignore me
But I know that this decision isn't easy

So to the void I cry out to be heard
Let me be with the love that I deserve
A lifetime is a bad thing to waste
So let's start now and pick up the pace

Kate

The sun, sand, and sea
Bask and let the beauty be
She, a summer's day

Stood up

You say yes
And I'm flying like a jet
I've had my eyes on you
From the moment that we met

We've got a go
And everybody knows
It's gonna be a show
Like you've never seen before

I see that smile
Haven't seen it in a while
Reacting's not my style
But this case it's not on file

A blank screen
You're nowhere to be seen
You're pulling of a hoax
Like all I am's a joke

I stay away
I don't like the way you play
Your game's put me to shame
Or my game's just not the same

But there you go
And there you go again
And I just can't resist
Cause we're more than just good friends

I let you in
Like I haven't learned my lesson
My heart's flying like a kite
And my brain's left out all cussin

I just do
And I don't really know
Why I just can't let you go
You'd think I'd seen it all before

I hate your smile
I hate the way you speak
I hate you every second
And every day of every week

But you already know
You know you've got this
You know you've got me
You are my weakness

Too much

Falling in too deep, too fast, too soon
Left longing for a word, a smile, a glance
Your presence is electric
Our connection instant and lasting
Why can't we be together?

I'm wishing you would call
Leave a message out of the blue
Right now there's nothing more delightful
Than seeing a message from you

Well, except when I'm sitting beside you

I sat down and I could kiss you
I told myself you were everything I didn't need
And you swept away all the doubt
With just the sparkle in your eyes

I miss you
And I can't tell the world
Because this is a battle I can't even be in

We've been here before
And neither was strong enough

Meron pa

Nagwawala, nagiingay, di mapigil, walang humpay
Ngunit wala paring marinig
Saradong mga labi, mapayapang daigdig
Parang wala lang nangyayari
Parang walang mga namatay na bayani

O bakit ba ang tahimik mo?
Ikaw ba ay nababato
Sa lagpak mong karandaman
May pag-asa ka ba bayan?

Hanggang tambay lang nga ba si Juan?
Nakararating kung saan-saan
Ngunit wala paring laman ang tiyan
Konting kurot at subo man lang

Oo ngang bumibirit sa entablado
Bagsak ang kalaban, bugbog sarado
Pero wala paring laman ang plato
Sa ilang butil lang nagsasalo-salo

At bakit ba ayaw natin lumaya?
Dahil ang manlulupid ay sadyang madaya
Wala na tayong ginawa na tama
O, lagi na lang tayong kawawa

Ganyan parati ang kanyang reklamo
Mahina magisip, maliit magplano
Sumusunod-sunod lang kung kani-kanino
Walang konsepto ng ginto

Di marunong makipagsabayan
Hindi handang makipaglaban
Padaos-daos lang
Walang kasunod na hakbang

Masakit marinig, masakit ispipin
Ganyan na lang ang tingin sa atin
Pero sandali kaibigan
May hindi tayo nalalaman

Ang mangaapi, ang kalaban
Ang pumipigil sa aksyon at kaalaman
Sino nga ba sila?
Lumaban nga't magpakita

Ang kunot sa iyong noo
Mawawala pag 'yong natanto
Sa salamin nakatungo
Ang kalaba'y nakatingin sayo

Sino pa ba?

Tayo lang naman kaibigan
Tayo lang ang kailangan
Hinahayaang maapi't maapakan
Kung kaya't di maibigay ang kailangan

Nawala na nga ang mga prayle
At ang mga 'kanong minsan din ay dumiskarte
Pero gusto parin nating magpaalila
Tayo rin ang pumalit sa mga puti't kastila

Hindi pagbangon, hindi pagkilos
Hindi pagsangayon o batikos

Pagbabago lang ng pagiisip at paniniwala

Kahit yun na muna ang gawin nating tama

Hindi masama ang pagiging masaya

Pero maniwala ka na meron at meron pa

Sa atin ang mundo

Maniwala lang sana tayo

Garden view

We're always in the right place
But never the right time
Close, but never close enough

Can we please just break the rules
Right what is wrong
Deal penalty to those not in the plan

We are left pretending
Left with just the here and now
Willing time to stop
Every second, a moment fleeting

There really isn't anything here
There is no universal conspiracy
No magic, no tension, no sparks
No way to keep up the denial

Sometimes you have to let go of something good
And something greater will follow
It's undeniable, without doubt, without question

After all this time
We find ourselves in the same situation
Just say it and I'm yours

When the touch lingers
Don't let it go
This time, I won't turn away

Once

Once in a blue moon we met
As if it were the first time
All the music fell into place
The moonlight lit the dark

I called for you
And you turned
And that smile, it never ceased
The night would never end
The world was ours, ripe for the picking

Once in a blue moon I held your hand
And you never let go
We were lost in the eternity in our eyes
We understood the depths of our souls

Deeper into the night
As daylight drew closer
And as I to your lips
Skin on skin
More and more

An unending search
Your skin
My touch
The warmth
Tenderness
And the longing

A moment frozen in time
The world just a kiss
The end seemed out of sight
There was nothing more than this

Once upon a blue moon
We fell in love
In that moment
And once, would never be again

So goodnight
Goodbye
Once
Caught in a blue moon
Forever in a moment

With me

It's three in the morning and you're still in the scene

But no one's really looking but goons and fiends

You're dancing with a chump and then you flirt with another

Your heart's on the edge how do you think it'll recover?

You pay for the drinks and you pay for his cab

You paid for your meal and his extra slab

Now why you keeping up with that broke ass loser?

He's been living in a fantasy, a real life snoozer

You're a princess to the world but you're a queen to me

Stop hanging out with jesters, you're in the monarchy

Why are you keeping up with a half-grown kid?

You follow him around and he's still got milk on his lid

I've been an ass, been a fool, I've had my heart badly broken

Got no time left for games I've got a bank full of tokens

I've gone through all the schemes, all the traps, all the stories

And now I'm wise enough to throw down this urban oratory

I know you've got them lined up, all your suitors look funny

I'll knock them all out like a left hook from Manny

I know you've never seen a love like this before

Got Faith Evans giving out the real fucking score

Stick with me baby and I'll leave you wanting more

I'll take you places you've never been before

Sipping Blue Label, trips to the South of France

You'll never be ready for this whirlwind romance

I'll make you see with your heart and feel with all your senses

I know how to touch, how to make your mind go places

Make you feel special, you won't ever have to doubt

I'm never going to stop till you finally tap out

And all I ask for all of this is nothing but you

Just give me your love and I'll follow everything you do

You'll be the only one, the last one, forever

You'll be this weary heart's one last savior

So baby, drop it all, take my hand, be mine

I love the way you smile and how your eyes shine

Be with me, love, and everything you'll see

We've got the world to discover, baby, just you and me

You

Days, months, years
Year upon year
An ever changing face

You rise and fall
Appear on pedestals
And come crashing down
You are past and future
But just not now

Small moments
Thoughtful words
Body parts
Filtered scenes
Familiar phrases
The quest
The breakdown
The anticipation

A history of color & texture
Of volume & melody
A cacophony in symphony
A beautiful mess

Tomorrow is a blank canvass
Peaceful, quiet, complete
Perfection in the contrast

Elevator love story

I see you
See me
Still no words, no labels, no names
Silence in this solitude by your side
An arms reach and a world apart

Everyday I look around
I wait, I hope, I tumble
Searching
Waiting
I know you're there but I can't find you
And there you are

What is in that look?
In that smile? That turn?
Every little bit
Stirred and broken down
You keep me in confusion
Bewitched & bewildered

It is clear as day
You are my light
But I wait in the shadows of time
And I can't take it anymore
What else am I waiting for
When it is you?

Everything in me knows
Who you are supposed to be
And who you will become
What's the point of playing around?

I see you
You see me
A smile, a hand, a simple hello
I look into your eyes now

It's our stop
Let's go

A million little pieces

Too early for bed
Nowhere to go
Towards the same retreat
Where are we going?

Back to the old timeline
Old habits, old thoughts
We haven't learned a thing
We're back to where we've always been

A thought left untouched
Kept from being opened
Harmless and petty
Without bearing
So, we let them in

Then the cracks start to show
What was hidden is clear
Fragile and about to burst

As the tears flow down
As the gentle sobs emerge
A final blow
An understanding

I am broken
I am beat
Beyond repair

Struggling to keep my act
I wear a brave face
I take comfort in my pretense
I'm okay
I'm all right
I am fine

No,
I am alone

My heart is broken
A million little pieces

I can't save myself anymore
I need You

Bittersweet

By now
The fights have faded out
All the doubts and negativity forgotten
What is left is an empty room
And time that doesn't seem to shift

Solitude brings the past to light
Of times when there was more of me
When there was more to life

When two people grow together
Their fates intertwine
One soul shared in two bodies
Where my hand ended, hers began
I am missing what I've let go
Open-palmed and unattached

I gave up a part of me
Let go of something good
Now only time will tell
Were we foolish or were we wise?

A season of light
In a life half-lived in darkness
Did the sun set too soon?
Or does daybreak just take so long?

I lost myself
But do I want to find myself?
Is what there is to be better than what was?
Or should I just have been content
In the comfort of our being?

Fallen leaves abound
Spring come sooner

Tears

There is a joy trapped within us
Past a certain point, it awakes
It binds together and slowly floats away
The memory remains
The ownership ceases to be
As if another self has walked out
Naked in the cold

Tears are words that need to be written
Pain, the child of love
The bitterness accentuates the sweet

Who are we to judge what should be?
We play out our characters
Our destinies lead us past the curtain close

Fifteen

Four hours

That broke five years of silence

Like a drop bringing color to the world

Shades of gray

Shade of blue

An angel in denial

Fallen and covered in filth

Broken wings

A broken heart

I will fill your hurts with comfort
Fix you where you have ceased to feel
Stand with you in your weakness

Nowhere, in between

I sit in solitude

As life floats by

Heaven waits at a distance

Never near

Not knowing I am here

I see the angels

They float on

Such beauty

Such lust

Wanting what can not be

In my thoughts, together

In the space between

Wanting what is bound

A cosmic comedy

A one man tragedy

Pointless sin

Silently, slowly

I die a little each day

Piece by piece

Anguish unceasing

Caught between nothing and a perpetual loss

Let me go

Let me be

I have served my penance

I dream of light

Such light

Bound in brightness

Till I wake

Wave after wave

Those tiny creases

Sun-kissed silk

Between sentences a sultry pout

I run my fingers slowly

Across the golden surface

My eyes do their walking

Sweet anticipation

A luscious clash

Trespass sweetly urged

Down those lovely limbs

Round those curves

Passive agressive possession

Between the sheets

Over and on top

Finding you again and again

Every inch an hour

Sweet salt on skin

Lost in your eyes

We float forever

Stranded in time

Lost in our world