Acceptance

It's back!

There are some things you just have to do. There are some things you just have to accept. And you have to learn that there are some things you just have to give up.

There's no shame in the past.

Twelve More

12 markers,
12 days,
12 lonely hours

A solitaire hand tirelessly toils
Round and round
With a single sound
Foolishly running up and abound

Never finding end,
nor time to rest,
nor think nor feel nor mourn

It does only what it knows,
what it should,
what is innate,
what he thinks anyone else would.

For him time is frozen
and the world is dead
Cause no matter how much he moves,
nothing changes,
and everything stays the same.

The minutes are exhausting,
the hours are months never passing,
and existence is debt to be paid.

Ebb and flow

She comes like the tides,
And leaves like a tempest.

An examined life

I read through Unsent tonight. I want to bring it back. I'll just screen some entries and it'll be back. It's been a nice journal. I'm proud of my posts. I'm just not particularly proud of what's been happening to me lately. I've been blunt and reactive. And that has to be censored. I'll just hide that somewhere else.

Kuya Ko

Let's reverse the roles for a little while
I'll be the one to make you smile
I'm grateful for everything you do
Big brother, this one's for you

I can’t help but grin at the thought of you
I’ve grown accustomed with us two
We've had our fun, we've had our sighs
We've spent days under clear blue skies
You're always there when I need a shoulder
Even when the nights grow colder
Your arms are there to keep me warm
And you make me feel safe from harm
You cheer me up when my eyes get wet
You know what I'll say without me knowing yet
When I need someone, I turn to you
You take away the clouds and blues
I've always wanted someone like you
With you there's so much I can do
I'm grateful that you're here with me
And that we got closer eventually

But sometimes I just can't read you right
Sometimes your gaze is out of sight
There’s something I don’t know, I fear
I’m sure that once I’ve seen you tear
Why don’t you talk, what’s on your mind?
I want to know, don’t keep me blind
Is it me, is it something I did to you?
Or maybe it’s something I didn’t do?
What’s wrong my friend, I’ve got to know
I hate to see you down this low
Please stop this game, you’ve got to tell me
Please make it clear, please make me see
Let me help you take the burden off your shoulder
What’s wrong my friend, what’s wrong my brother?

Perspective

There are things people should know and things they shouldn't. There are things you hide and things you leave out in the open. However, there are also those things that you try to keep hidden but want other people to see.

Clutter

My desk clutter moves in waves. Things come and go and get around. People pass by over and over again, some stop for a while, some more often than others. Work is a mess occasionally, but it works itself out eventually. The mundane, the stress filled, and the exciting continue with its ebb and flow. I float along, I roam about, I sit and wait and stare.

I am fixed on an image which seems to be staring back. A motionless void of either hope or misery.