In sight

I didn't want to turn around,
Didn't want to see her again
I turned slowly
And she was there

My heart cried
I trembled inside
Crushed
Confused
Commited
A bittersweet smile
And tired eyes

I was caught in between
Between heaven and earth
Holding back the floodgates

I never really forgot
and I never really let go

You brought the music back

Straitjacket

They don't want me to remember
They want me to forget
They want me to rest tonight

Looking through those burning eyes,
I was mesmerized
I was cursed

They're taking me away
Making me forget
Taking me away

They don't want me to remember
Don't want me to remember
Taking me away, tonight

I am tired
I fall
Without sight

Like the way it used to be

Walking on the same ground
Surrounded by different walls
In familiar situations
With a different crowd

Surrounded by similar faces
Of different people
Asking the same questions
In another place and time

A familiar name
A different face
The same person
The same reasons

Verge of weakness

It's in times like these that I think about her. I guess it's because she was always my security blanket. Beyond all the logic and reasoning, it's my pure heart's impotent desire to come home to her. If I were to give up on everything that I aspire for, I know she will be my strength.

Let's promise each other we'll never fall in love with each other again. And let's be honest when we're on the verge of letting ourselves go so that we know when to step back and wait it out. No questions. No expectations. No digging up the past. Let's just trust the strength of our friendship.

Sunrise

Her guard was finally down. She let me reach into her thoughts and being, her warmth and strength, her passions and desires. She used her heart to think. She let me in.

She lay comfortably on me without a care in the world. The day was ours for the taking.

I didn't know why or how everything was happening, but I took the opportunity. It felt so right. It felt like the world was justifying itself, making up for all the incompatibilities it set, making up for all the lost time. Things were finally starting to feel right. This is how it's supposed to be.

She looks up to me from my shoulder and pauses for a kiss. Her smile was contagious. Her taste was unnerving, making me realize how much we were meant to be together. She smelled sweet, delightful, and exquisite without being overwhelming. With my arms around her waist and her arms resting on mine, we watched the sun rise. Her skin was soothing. Her touch was sensual. My heart would throb so loud that I'm sure she felt it, and my breath would be so heightened that I could have died of joy. Everything was just right.

This moment, wherever this moment was, although brief, consoled my heart. I close my eyes and hold on as hard as I can.

Cold corners

Hidden deep in the night
At the corner of my eye
I turn my head
To something that isn't there

I walk through the dark in anticipation
But without the usual fear
Because it never comes
This haunting I never see

Even in my dreams it follows
It leaves me cold
I am left distressed
By something beyond reach

Be real, be done
Finish your business with me
Let us both be free
I don't want to chase ghosts anymore

Loving you

What could be more painful than the lies that are never told?
A pity kiss for formality
Hands held for feigned assurance
easing in the pain like fingers slowly losing grip
Words without meaning
Lies that grow real
till they tear you apart inside
Eyes that wonder when truth will ever surface
Eyes that pretend they don't know what's really going on

Why the euphemisms?
Why such lengths to save face?
If you're dirty, then claim your filth
If you're insincere, don't be trusted
If you loathe, be loathed in return
The cowardice and the selfishness

The lies we have to bear
The pretences that help us sleep better at night
The silence that we fear but keep
with wet faces in dark rooms and solitaire spaces