Still

Call me foolish
But just in the way you look at me
I know what you feel inside
And I can't believe
That you've led me to this point
You've driven me away
And I can't help the anger
The hurt swells inside
My eyes well with tears
My heart slows down
Until it stops beating
You're killing a part of me

When I close my eyes
All I see is your face
And in each gaze I can see
My heart knows what you're not saying
In the stories you don't tell
I know what you're keeping
Within the fears that you hide behind
I know where I stand

In my heart of hearts
I don't want to leave
But in a world where you always have a choice
I have none to take
So what of this now?
The night grows weary
And the tired day peeks in

The letters are still unsent

Sunshine

I woke up this morning
Heavy as a stone
The sun hidden 'round thick clouds
The day was lit up
But the cold mood ushers you back to bed
It's getting harder to breathe
My chest wants to burst
Carrying all the burden in the world
Finding how it is to be defeated by a dream
To be eaten up by a broken heart

Late night driving

The open road takes me away
From somewhere I ought to be

Familiar voices
Knock upon my heart's door
But the answers don't come
Cause I have no courage left
To mingle with replacement people
Or to pretend to be chasing dreams

My hands are cold
My soul is weary
Surrounded by empty seats
Conversations only I can hear
Cause I'm the only one listening

To be helpless for so long
Is to live with a heart half asleep
Forced to move in motion
But without purpose or direction
A banal existence

Where do these roads lead
When my destination is not my destiny
And it feels like there is no end
I ask the questions
I try to live them
Hoping that I will get there
Will I ever get there?
Somewhere, not here

Said & Unsaid

I'm sorry
But your eyes
I looked in
And now I'm under your spell
I didn't mean to come off so strong
But I just couldn't resist
Else my heart would have burst with longing

Did I speak too soon?
Or cross the line?
Did my advances scare you away?
But I've had the chance to talk to you
And I'm certain that I could talk with you day and night
That our lives would be twice full with each other's company

Did I lose my chance?
In my haste?
In fear?
In this insecurity
That you wouldn't be there when I turn?
But knowing what you truly want
You can't wait for life to start
You can't wait another second
And these hours I have to bare

In silence I wait
Carrying a mantra of patience
Trying to distract myself and stay away
But in the end I always find myself here
Wherever I go, I come back here
Whispering words
Staring afar
Thinking about our conversations
Picturing your face
Those piercing eyes
The warmth in your smile
I am caught in the clout that you cast

Am I saying too much again?
Why can't this wait?
Cause this silence is driving me insane
And there is nothing more I'd want in my life right now
Than to find you in it
Sharing stories and dreams and ramblings 'bout the world
Discovering the many mysteries and marvels hidden abound
Drunk with life's passion
Finding myself in your eyes
And knowing that it is here, and only here, that I want to be

I'm sorry
Did I say that out loud?
Was it too much again?
Oh, these words!
If they could only find a way
Without raised eyebrows
Or shocked stares
Without scaring you away

So let these words be written
That I may tell you someday
And when that someday comes
When you'd be reading these lines
When there would be no risk of losing you with this honesty
I know that I'd be the most blessed man
Cause I would finally be with you
And you are all the dreams I could ever have
And all my dreams would have finally come true

Change

Foolish and naïve
We are sometimes led to believe
That all change is good
But even as children play
As the summer sun shines
There are forces beyond us
That even bright dispositions can not overturn
First the clouds--dark and thick
Then the sharp breeze--cutting through defences
Without warning they fall from the sky
All the world's burden
Heavier and heavier by the minute
Soaked in disbelief

Epiphany

I have tried to hide behind a veil of indifference
Afraid of what I might find
But I could not stay away,
I am in it
And I fear that I have found myself here
Cause I no longer want to leave

Sunlight breaks the dark canopy of clouds
The warmth of its beams comfort those in the cold
In the darkness, we feared that the sun was lost
But now we know
That it has found itself in her eyes
And she has brought solace to the weary world
Oh, the brightness in those eyes

Life brings forth a new muse
And it is hard to be the same again

In my mind plays a never ending song
Asking if I could be the one
Wondering if this could be it
And the song plays waiting to be heard
Louder with each of my heart's beating
Longing for an answer
Awaiting a burst of hope

When her lips curl
The toughest of men break
Their defenses fall to the floor
They find themselves at her mercy
When the lady speaks, it shall be done
The gentlest of words tame the cruelest of men
Innocent eyes stir a whirlwind of emotion
A spell cast leaves me wrapped around her intentions
Wanting to be broken

The sky starts to clear
Where will we find ourselves?
Let it begin

Replacements

I am the king of deception
Of words unheard
Eyes from afar
Reality lies on the cutting room floor

Feigned affection
Standard smiles
Glossed eyes empty from within
Feeding on a helpless cycle
Sitting across four sides of white noise
Waking up to half filled beds
Surrounded by replacement people
Waiting for them to turn real