I was still groggy from waking up early and rushing to the airport to make it to our 6:00 flight. I wasn't even talking to my friend. We had just gone through 4 days of girl spotting and everything guys find amusing and were convinced that it was the end of it all. Our best night was our first night and it had gone down hill from there. Minutes from our flight back, we had conceded. The battle was over. We were shifting back to our normal personas and characters.
Leaning on the wall of the departure area, facing the slowly building crowd, I was listening to my ipod trying to find the right song to fit the mood. Families, friends, lovers, and strangers were slowly passing through the security check, which seemed to separate the rivalry of vacation and the inevitability of their real lives that awaited them. Metal detector, bag check, find a seat, wait.
And then a vision. I move about my seat to try to get a clearer view.
Big glasses, shorts, Jansport bag, Crocs, Nike Football jacket, music player. Fair, petite, cute, independent, feisty, charming. Alone.
I watch her find a seat. Directly in front of me, albeit with 8 people in between. I scoot about to try to get a better image. I automatically tick off pros from my built-in checklist. I analyze the possible cons, and impressed, I cross them out one-by-one.
Why is she alone? Is she waiting for someone? Did she notice me staring?
I try to think of how I could talk to her, but nothing comes to mind. I retreat back to my ipod, still occasionally stealing a glance or two, admiring God's creation on hand.
There should be a song for this scene. Forward, forward, forward, wait, she's gone. I look around the departure area. Nowhere. To my left, to my right, oh. She just passed me, coming from the bathroom. I looked at her and her big eyeglasses looked back at me for a half-second. Just a half-second, it must have been just a fleeting glance. I spot the side of her neck and see how her hair flows into her pony. What is this girl doing?
She looks around and tries to find a seat. Someone got hers already. There's a free seat beside me. But it's too far from where she's standing. She settles somewhere close to her original position.
After a while, she stands again and buys food from outside. This is it. This is my chance. I struggle with my self for a bit. But after a few minutes of deliberation, a few minutes too long, I stand up and make my way back to the pre-departure area.
I get through, look around, and enter the only other door. Just people smoking. What? She's not here either. Oh, it's a smoking room. Where did she go? There, outside. I move back to pre-dep and pretend to ask around where I could get food, waiting for her to pass my way. What's taking her too long? This just won't do. I retreat back to departure and slump back in my seat.
I finally tell my friend of what I've been trying to do.
Nothing. I retreat to my ipod again.
Time to board. This is it. We stand at the same time and are lined up going to the plane together. Not the right time to say anything. I'm standing behind her at the stairs. She's right there but I've nothing to say. We board the plane. She's a window seat to the right, I'm a window seat to the left. Nothing here. Let's wait till we get off.
Last chance. NAIA 3. She hurries out of the plane, through the eternally long corridors, and into the baggage claim area. I bid my friend goodbye and tell him that it's a lost cause.
Coming into the open space of the baggage turnstile, the bags have not been loaded, and she's sitting by herself on a bench at the end of room. I take a second to pretend to assess that the bags are not there yet and I sit beside her.
This is it. I think of what to say. Should I say something about where we came from? Should I say something about the airport? Such a big space for such a small flight. That was my line. Should I just say hi? She stops texting and removes her headphones. This is really it. It's now or never. She's giving me another entry point. What should I say? Should I turn and say it? Should I just talk out loud. That sounds like a really cheesy line. But what else is there to say?
A man walks by with two giant Mickey Mouse stuffed toys in his trolley. I blurt out a pathetic excuse for a chuckle. That could be the ice breaker. Say something. The bags start to move. Come on man, say anything. She picks up her things and stands up.
I am dumb.
I lost out on an opportunity there. And although she could have been just another girl. I still didn't do anything. I tried to find a last minute Hail Mary play before she left the airport, but the opportunity never presented itself. I was all, if she passes by again, there is no way in hell that I'm not talking to her. But she didn't. I ended up making my sundo wait an extra 10 minutes. 20-minutes later, I got hit by an SUV.
I probably put too much into it, but if I had just talked to her, I wouldn't have gotten hit by that SUV. It's like fate was punishing me for my lack of courage. It was like destiny smacked me up-side the head for not acting on the opportunity it had presented to me. For all I know, she could have been the one, and I was too caught up with pride to not do anything about it.
I hated myself for that morning. It was a week and a few hours from right now, as I come close to ending this post.
Lesson learned. It's better to say too much, then never say what you need to say.
I will not let you down again destiny. Give me one more chance.
