Verge of weakness

It's in times like these that I think about her. I guess it's because she was always my security blanket. Beyond all the logic and reasoning, it's my pure heart's impotent desire to come home to her. If I were to give up on everything that I aspire for, I know she will be my strength.

Let's promise each other we'll never fall in love with each other again. And let's be honest when we're on the verge of letting ourselves go so that we know when to step back and wait it out. No questions. No expectations. No digging up the past. Let's just trust the strength of our friendship.

Sunrise

Her guard was finally down. She let me reach into her thoughts and being, her warmth and strength, her passions and desires. She used her heart to think. She let me in.

She lay comfortably on me without a care in the world. The day was ours for the taking.

I didn't know why or how everything was happening, but I took the opportunity. It felt so right. It felt like the world was justifying itself, making up for all the incompatibilities it set, making up for all the lost time. Things were finally starting to feel right. This is how it's supposed to be.

She looks up to me from my shoulder and pauses for a kiss. Her smile was contagious. Her taste was unnerving, making me realize how much we were meant to be together. She smelled sweet, delightful, and exquisite without being overwhelming. With my arms around her waist and her arms resting on mine, we watched the sun rise. Her skin was soothing. Her touch was sensual. My heart would throb so loud that I'm sure she felt it, and my breath would be so heightened that I could have died of joy. Everything was just right.

This moment, wherever this moment was, although brief, consoled my heart. I close my eyes and hold on as hard as I can.

Cold corners

Hidden deep in the night
At the corner of my eye
I turn my head
To something that isn't there

I walk through the dark in anticipation
But without the usual fear
Because it never comes
This haunting I never see

Even in my dreams it follows
It leaves me cold
I am left distressed
By something beyond reach

Be real, be done
Finish your business with me
Let us both be free
I don't want to chase ghosts anymore

Loving you

What could be more painful than the lies that are never told?
A pity kiss for formality
Hands held for feigned assurance
easing in the pain like fingers slowly losing grip
Words without meaning
Lies that grow real
till they tear you apart inside
Eyes that wonder when truth will ever surface
Eyes that pretend they don't know what's really going on

Why the euphemisms?
Why such lengths to save face?
If you're dirty, then claim your filth
If you're insincere, don't be trusted
If you loathe, be loathed in return
The cowardice and the selfishness

The lies we have to bear
The pretences that help us sleep better at night
The silence that we fear but keep
with wet faces in dark rooms and solitaire spaces

Paglayag

Tama na ang pagsisisi
At ang pagmumukmok
Lahat ng bagay ay may takdang panahon
At panahon nang lumaya

Tuyo na ang lahat ng iyong luha
At matigas na ang iyong mukha
Kinalimutan mo na ang pait ng iyong mga laban
Nagliliyab ang iyong mga mata

Ngayong wala ka nang iiwanan
At ang hinaharap mo ang tangi mong kailangan
Lumayag
At wag ka nang lumingon sa nakaraan

Spell

When the mermaid cries
I fall in love with her song
Fall into the sea

30 second wish

Pictures speak to me
I should have taken the chance
We're left worlds apart

Transition

I walk down an empty street. Noises echo through the dark. Creatures sprawl in the shadows as their eyes watch me move down a solitaire path. They sing a weary tone. They murmur.

The ground is wet from a bit of rain leaving the air with a particular smell. The wind takes the trees for a dance. A whirlwind song: it whistles and whispers, whistles and whispers.

I keep to myself, not giving it to the cold or my cautious audience. I plant my hands deeper into my pockets and walk a little faster. And as to keep up with my pace, the leaves grow louder, they rustle stronger. The wind sings its ballad for the night.

Line

Waiting for someone at the other end
Feeding on an addiction
Slow motion
Dark and tired eyes
Twitching, longing
Bit lips, dry mouth
Mentally moving
Wet eyes
Falling
Sleeping to dream

The haunting

Visits in the night
That fade as the sun rises
Keep me wanting more

Reunion

I was aghast. I clammed up. I couldn’t think of anything else but her being there. I couldn’t think. I knew she was going to come. She said she was going to go. She did. And she was there. Memories of five years past came rushing back. It was her.

It’s baggage. These are the things you weren’t able to do and you want to prove that you can do something about it. It’s baggage. Get rid of it. Get it over with.