Back to you again

I just don't understand

Why do I keep on saying goodbye

To find myself back where I started

Where my mind still says that it won't work out

And where other people tell me to give it a rest

Yet, I keep waking up to songs that call out for you

And your smile somehow finds its way into my consciousness

Our last memories in eternal replay

Your face lifts from a blurred out crowd

You are all I see

I try to console myself with all these replacements

I parade, I roll, I call them out

But I never seem to make a move

I make myself available, but I never give in

And I hate myself for doing so

Options abound, but you have sucked out my passion

You've claimed it as yours alone

I can't commit to you

Because you don't give me anything

Yet I'm always here

It seems I don't want to be anywhere else

I hate that I keep trying to stay away

To only find myself always coming back

I hate that I know you're not right for me

But I still keep pushing myself to be around you

I hate it that you just won't say no

You keep me hanging and hoping

But you keep on crushing and maiming

I hate you

I don't love you

I don't want to be around you

Yet you have me

And all of me

Over

And over again